Being the Friend/Parent/Mentor Your Horse Needs

One of the most common "issues" I run into when meeting with people who come to me for help with their horses is "Well, I want my horse to like me..." and thus they are not willing to provide structure or discipline for their horse. We all want our four legged companion to like us, this first article will discuss some of my observations on being "liked" by your horse without creating a monster. With any "friendship" must come respect!

I like to first think of horses in their natural and original habitat, as herd animals... There is first the alpha stud, and then a hierarchy of mares. Each member of the herd attains their status not "just because" but because they've asserted themselves and essentially "demanded" their spot in the herd. There are no equals in a herd situation, there must be an alpha. When we are not willing to step up and being that alpha we have essentially paved the road for our horses to step up into the role. Where do you fall in the hierarchy of your herd?

Trust comes into play when it comes to being the alpha. The herd relies on the alpha for protection, to not lead them into harms way and to alert them when there is some sort of danger to be concerned about. When we allow the horse to become the alpha, they step up into that protection role. This can become troublesome or annoying when you and your horse don't see eye to eye on what you need "saving" from... Butterfly, bush, mailbox... You're probably better off being the one in charge of the protecting.

Lastly there is the most obvious reason you need to be the alpha.. Manners! When a horse becomes pushy it's not because they just don't know any better, or just want to be mean. It's all about respect. In a herd situation when a stallion wants to move his herd he uses his body. Even biting or rearing at them if necessary. However, a lower member of the pack would never dare encroach on the leaders space. When the horse becomes the alpha of "your herd" they WILL use their body to manipulate you as they feel necessary.

So, you want your horse to like you? Take a weight off their shoulders and be the leader of your herd. Your horse will love and respect you all the more if you can be the alpha they so desperately rely on.